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Who Supports You?

Being a writer is a terrible idea. Welcome to a life of chasing mystical ideas through the ether, constant rejection and of course, ever present, crippling self-doubt. The good thing about this is that no writer, or any creative person, probably, would stop for those reasons. You make your life harder than it has to be, you work twice, three times as much as most people for little or no reward. Why? Because there’s no alternative. You can’t stop, so you carry on, slaving away. If you do step away for a while that’s fine because you’ll be back. We always come back. For most writers, I think the detractions are obvious and plentiful. That got me thinking about the shaky, frail support beams that somehow remain – where do they come from?

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Yourself

Perhaps the most precarious, this is number one for any writer because we for the most part work alone. If you are writing, then you are supporting yourself as a writer. You are winning. If you are not writing, don’t worry. As far as I can tell regular bouts of self-sabotage and loathing are part of the process. Eventually you will hate yourself enough that you’ll get back to work. Here are some ideas to help you be more supportive of the very, very stupid path you have chosen (has chosen you?) to be on.

Write – There’s a lot of banter in the writing world about writing every day, getting your butt in the chair and blah blah. This has merit because you are not much of a writer if you aren’t writing, but at the same time, not all writers write every day. That’s right, I said it and it’s true, say it with me, NOT ALL WRITERS WRITE EVERY DAY! There is no need to hate yourself for not preforming this miraculous feat. If you do write every day, that is awesome, but if you don’t, that’s FINE. I think the most important thing here is that you write regularly and always have a project on the go. Don’t stagnate.

Make a Space – One of the best things I ever did for myself was to make a space. I do almost all of my work in my office. I love my office and it loves me. It’s quiet, it’s full of things that make me feel awesome and that’s where I work, so when I’m in there, I work. I highly suggest that if you don’t have a space, you make one. I don’t care if it’s in your damn closet, or a backpack full of crap and a favorite chair at the library, have a space that is conducive to your writing, whatever that means to you. Then go there, a lot.

Never Stop Getting Better – Like any art, there is no proper way to be a writer. There are also no limits. No matter how good you are, you can always be better and the best writers know this. Read books about writing, take classes, join writing groups, go to conferences, work on your setting, your dialogue, your grammar. One of the greatest things you can do for yourself as a writer is to continually invest in yourself. Valuing yourself and your talent enough to spend actual dollars (!?) is a powerful show of support for the bedraggled writer in you.

Your Inner Circle

I’ve been pretty lucky with this one. My immediate family and friends are supportive for the most part, and if not supportive, then at least not unsupportive. One thing I will say about this is that things did change a lot when I first was published. The balance of power shifted in my favour when that finally happened.

“Oh, so you’re a writer.”

“Yes, yes I am.”

“Have you published anything?”

“Yes, yes I have.” Internal dialogue – several things, multiple things, so eat it, eat it, you smug, doubting bastard! Wipe that damn smirky look off of your face, jerk.

So if you are published, keep that in mind at all times. You did it, you made it, you got there. If you aren’t, yet, then just take yourself seriously as a writer and hopefully some of that will rub off on the people around you. If not, then your inner circle sucks, so focus all your efforts on supporting your damn self. You might want to take a long hard look at who makes up your inner circle and toss them accordingly.

The Rest of Them

We get, or don’t get, support from the rest in a myriad of ways. Having a Facebook page, a blog, a newsletter, a Twitter account are all ways that you can reach out and have people reach back. The key here, as with all things writing related, seems to be consistency and patience. Whatever you chose to do to glean support from the rest of them, be more consistent about it than I am. Also, be patient. If you start a blog, you probably won’t get thousands of followers right away. Stick with it, little grasshopper, writing is a marathon, not a sprint.

My husband recently introduced me to Patreon, which is a neat idea where creators have a page where they post things related to their work and people can sign up to sponsor them and get perks with their sponsorship. I haven’t done it, but there are writers on there, so that might be something worth looking into. Check out his page at www.patreon.com/jeremychaulk

 

Writing sucks and it’s hard. The other side is that it’s awesome, liberating and limitless. Always support yourself and never stop striving to do better. This is a tough, lonely road, so when you can’t get yourself going, and there will be times like that, support others. Buy books, go to readings, leave reviews, follow blogs and maybe sponsor a few creators on Patreon. Give others the support you want for yourself and it will all come back. Remember, we’re all in this together.

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Writer’s Digest Annual Conference: A Review

Just over a week ago I was travelling home from the Writer’s Digest Annual Conference in New York. Hard to believe that a week has gone by, I still feel like I’m processing everything. Since it was my first writing conference and my first trip to New York, I did a lot of preparation before the actual conference. Part of that work included reading blogs by people who had attended before to gain some insight on what to expect and how to best meet this in a competent way. All of that preparation served me well, dare I say very well, so now I would like to do the same for others.

New York

Welcome to New York!

 

 

First of all, go. Go to the damn conference. Don’t sit around, don’t debate it, don’t weigh pros and cons, don’t check your bank account, don’t worry if you’re ready, if you’re awesome enough to go, if you suck too much to go, go, just go. You will not regret it.

The Sessions

The conference ran over Friday, Saturday and Sunday, they also had some introductory stuff Thursday evening, but I missed that because I was in an airplane traffic jam at LaGuardia airport, but that’s a story for another blog.

The sessions began at 9am every day and there were five offerings for each time slot addressing different aspects of writing and publishing. These ran until about 5pm and were followed by a keynote speaker. Ahead of the conference, you were encouraged to sign up for the sessions you wanted to attend so they could figure out what size rooms to put them in, but at the actual event you could go to whatever ones you wanted. Since I paid actual dollars to attend, I went to a session in pretty well every time slot, save pitch slam day. Overall, they were a great experience. I took a lot of notes and received a lot of informative handouts, book recommendations and practical, useful information. All of the speakers answered questions from attendees, which was excellent. Highlights of the sessions for me included:

Pitch Perfect – Chuck Sambuchino

Informative, motivating and extremely patient answering many, many questions. Helped calm the terror of the upcoming pitch slam.

Pulling the Rug Out: How to Craft Twists Your Readers Will Never See Coming – Steven James

Funny, informative, a very useful handout and practical approaches to really make your book the best, most interesting version of itself that it can be. Steven James is an excellent speaker and I wish I had gone to all of his sessions. I will be purchasing his books for sure.

Rework, Rewrite and Rock Your Revisions – Gabriela Pereira & Elisabeth Kauffman

Perhaps the most loathed part of the writing process, no one likes revising. It sucks and it’s boring and how in the hell do you coherently revise 500 pages of work??? I did manage to do all of this with my book, but it took me many years. The next one won’t take me nearly as long thanks to things I learned here. More books to buy.

The Keynotes

There was a keynote speaker Friday, Saturday and Sunday to close out each day. These were Kwame Alexander, David Baldacci and Emily St. John Mandel. Each one gave about an hour talk and then very graciously answered questions and stuck around to sign books. The room was packed for each one, but talking to people, I was surprised how many skipped these. I did not, and boy am I glad. SO ENCOURAGING. Each and every one of them. Super fast summary – Kwame Alexander – Say a big fat yes to every writing opportunity you get, it will take you where you need to go. David Baldacci – being a big, famous writer does not equate to having the faintest clue about what you’re doing, so don’t even worry about it. Emily St. John Mandel – Don’t get caught up in all of the noise about writing, just write, and guard that time ferociously.  All of them were very genuine and provided valuable insights. Connections were made here. More books to buy.

The Cocktail Reception

This was Saturday night, pitch slam day. This is where you go say hi to David Baldacci, get a drink and schmoose with your fellow writers, the people from Writer’s Digest, a few agents still kicking around and some of the people giving the sessions. I am not going to lie, I was extremely tired from travelling, pitching and sleeping in a hotel, but Writer’s Digest gave everyone a free drink ticket and I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss out on a free drink, so I hauled my sorry ass to cocktail hour, got my free drink and stood with it awkwardly by myself – for about five seconds.

You are all there for the same reason – to celebrate the stupidity it takes to be a writer and try to be the best damn crazy writer that you’re capable of being. Most of the other attendees had travelled to be there and were alone, just like me. This should equal a room of sleep deprived, surly people, but instead it equals INSTANT FRIENDS. Guess what, cupcake, you’re all in this together, so just start chatting. It was actually awesome. People just talk to you and eventually, you just talk to people. I met people from California, Tennessee, New York, New Jersey, Michigan, Arizona, Ohio, Vancouver, England, Australia and those are just the places I recall. Great conversations, lots of laughs, many cards and info exchanged. It’s not very often you’re surrounded by people that get this thing you do, so take full advantage of the opportunity. I actually nursed my free drink right until the end of the reception just chatting away at which point Chuck Sambuchino came around handing out free glasses of wine. So stay until the end, you might get a free drink and make some friends.

Your Fellow Writers

When you arrive at the hotel and register, you get a fancy name badge to hang around your neck. This shows that you’re part of the conference, your name and where you’re from. You have to wear it when participating in the conference so they know you’re not some weirdo who wandered in off the street. Well, maybe you are, but you paid to be there, so it’s fine. I wore mine the entire weekend, everywhere I went in the hotel. This again equals instant friends. Other people with the same badge just start talking to you and soon you’re a group chatting about the conference and things beyond. Business cards are exchanged, connections made. I assume I will always be the awkward person standing with my lunch tray in the busy seating area with nowhere to sit and this did happen to me, but just like at cocktail hour, it lasted for about five seconds when I was hailed over by a fellow attendee. By the end of the hour, we were a group of four. We talked about the conference, our own writing projects and practiced for the pitch slam. It was great. Talk to people and wear your badge so people don’t have to break the ice. It’s already broken and for a bunch of weird introverted writers, this is key.

Curious about the pitch slam? Of course you are! I’ll cover that in my next post since this sucker ran long. Until then, keep writing!

One, Two, Three

Life is not conducive to writing. Often, life doesn’t seem to be conducive to anything that you really want to do, but that’s a different topic. One thing I am fairly certain of is that life moves in cycles. Some of them predictable, day turning to night, winter turning to spring, and some of them not. At the moment I’m on a low cycle.

I’m not a lucky person. I am a fortunate person. I was fortunate to be born in Canada. I am fortunate to have a loving family, an awesome husband, a few very good friends and rugged good health. These things make me very fortunate and for them I am daily grateful. I am not lucky in the sense that good things do not just happen to me out of the blue. You know the people, those magical, fairy dusted people who have awesome things fall into their lap through no effort of their own with infuriating regularity. I used to envy these people, now I just admire them and appreciate their incredible tales of golden tinged living.

Good things happen to me, lots of them, actually. They are things that I bust my ass for, usually for years, but they do happen. I accept this is the story of my life. I will get what I want, whatever that may be, provided I dig in, hard, relentlessly and make it happen through years of labour. It will never be easy for me.  I am content with this state of affairs. I don’t think I would want it any other way, actually. I don’t stop moving and thinking very often to give myself credit for these hard won achievements, but when I do they strike me as pretty impressive for myself and I am proud of them.

Like most people, I am far more likely to see what’s wrong than what’s right and even though I don’t have any serious problems, I have a lot of small ones cycling around me at the moment. It starts with one buzzing around, then another, then another, the mysterious cycle of three. Three bad things in a row. These are not great tragedies, but they derail the cars of my daily life, sap my routine, my energy and my concentration. The first two came in quick succession, then I waited and I waited for the third. It’s a stressful time, that waiting. I want to start cycling up again, fix what has gone awry and get back to business, get my life and head back where they need to be to keep moving forward. I always get ahead of myself, ahead of my low cycle, and it slams into me every time with the third. I smirked at it this time, the last wily bastard that always hits you while you’re already down on two counts. I was ready for it, the third thing, the third bad thing in a row that I can deal with and start cycling out of. I greeted it like an enemy vanquished long ago and back for another round. We do this dance, go through these cycles and will continue to do so because that’s the nature of life, of my life, anyway. I wonder now if there really is some strange, magical law of three or if there are always three things because that’s what I expect? Maybe it doesn’t matter, because either way the low cycle is ending and a better one will take its place, maybe just because I expect it to.

“I have always believed that you can almost will things to happen. You just have to hustle yourself and your talent.” William Zinsser